Dwelling on the past only serves to anchor you in a reality that no longer exists. Regret consumes you with bitterness and remorse. It gnaws at your soul, a disgruntled companion that lingers long after the moment has passed. Regret is not a passive observer; it can be a catalyst for change or a hindrance to your growth.
Regret is born from the road less traveled, opportunities missed, or chances unexplored. The devil, a cunning opponent who exploits your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, magnifies your shortcomings and mistakes by mitigating any positive aspects of your life. He weaves a tangled web of self-doubt and despair that ensnares even the most resilient of souls.
Add a potent blend of sorrow, guilt, and shame, and you have fertile soil for the enemy to exploit your insecurities. But the Bible teaches us to keep a cool head and to keep our eyes locked on Jesus.
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 NIV
The devil might try to use your regret as a stumbling block in your race toward heaven; he may even use your regret as a way to sabotage you from forgiving yourself for past mistakes, but one thing you can be assured of is that God’s favor lasts a lifetime.
No matter how much he undermines you and your efforts to move forward and find healing and redemption, you can find strength and refuge in the Lord. With the Lord as your ally, you can confront your regrets with confidence and conviction, knowing that you are not defined by your past mistakes.
“We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.” Psalms 33:20 NIV
So how do we navigate the treacherous waters of regret? How do we reconcile the past with the present and chart a course for the future—a future that is unburdened by the weight of what-ifs?
Why Is The Pain Of Regret Paralyzing?
The pain of regret may weigh heavily on you, dragging you down into the depths of despair. It’s a complex emotion that fuels self-loathing. The uncomfortable reality is that regret is an inevitable part of the human experience. What haunts you are the choices you’ve made that you believe would’ve had a different outcome if you’d simply chosen differently.
“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.” 2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT
Regret is a powerful teacher and a relentless tormentor. It’s a reminder of our capacity for error. As imperfect beings, we are prone to making mistakes and poor decisions, and it doesn’t help that regret is accompanied by self-admonishment. And while Christianity teaches the importance of forgiveness and redemption, Christians may struggle to extend these concepts to themselves.
Seeing that regret can also be described as a sense of loss, 2 Corinthians 7:10 speaks to two kinds of grief. Worldly grief, which is characterized by a sense of despair and hopelessness, fixates on the negative consequences of our actions without offering a path to redemption, trapping us in a cycle of self-condemnation.
On the other hand, godly grief is rooted in a deep sorrow for our sins that leads to genuine repentance and spiritual renewal. If you can move past your mistakes and seek forgiveness, it will bring reconciliation with God.
It can sometimes be difficult to reconcile our faith with our lived experiences. I’m sure you can relate to how regret can raise profound questions about the nature of God. Despite the assurance of God’s grace and mercy, you may find it difficult to forgive yourself.
Does Regret Ever Go Away?
The devil’s manipulation of regret hinges on distorting your perception of yourself and your actions, fostering feelings of guilt and shame that serve to isolate you. And the fear of being judged or labeled as unworthy can exacerbate those feelings, making it difficult to move forward and find healing and redemption.
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment.” Romans 5:3-5 NLT
While regret itself may not necessarily disappear entirely, Romans 5 suggests that it can be transformed through the process of perseverance. Because regret arises from past sufferings, mistakes, and missed opportunities, through perseverance we can transform our character and cultivate hope.
Anytime you embrace suffering, it leads to opportunities for transformation and growth. When you endure regret and the accompanying pain, you develop resilience and inner strength. God is always trying to grow us. Even if regret causes us to linger on past mistakes, because of God’s unfailing love and forgiveness, we are no longer bound. Regret does not dictate your future.
How Do I Stop Feeling Regret?
I’ve overcome regret by anchoring myself in truth. If the devil can twist your perception of past events, he’ll gain the upper hand over you. He’ll exploit your regret and fuel your guilt and shame by convincing you that your actions have irreparably damaged your reputation or standing in the eyes of others. Deceptively and assidously, the devil can deepen your sense of remorse.
With insidious lies, he will erode your self-esteem. And when he has you exactly where he wants you, he’ll encourage you to withdraw from others, convincing you that you are unworthy of love, forgiveness, or support. But his attack won’t stop there.
He’ll sabotage your attempts to forgive yourself by planting seeds of doubt in your mind, perpetuating a cycle of self-flagellation. He will use regret to stop you from striving for holiness and make you feel like you’ve not only let yourself and others down, but you’ve let God down.
“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 5:10–11 NIV
Recognize that God offers forgiveness to all who sincerely repent for their sin. His forgiveness and promise of redemption and restoration will let you live presently instead of dwelling on past mistakes.
Allow God to use your regrets as stepping stones toward becoming the person He created you to be. Trust in His ability to turn your trials into triumphs and your sorrows into strength.
“For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:6-7 NIV
Embrace God’s unconditional love, and remember that His love for you is unwavering. He extends grace to you every day. Allow those feelings of regret to be replaced with peace and acceptance. You can’t go back and change the past, but you can accept, let go, and learn from it.
Express gratitude for all that you have in this life. It allows you to shift your focus from what you lack to finding contentment in God’s provision and faithfulness, knowing that He is always with you, guiding and sustaining you (1 Timothy 6:6 NIV).
How Do I Stop Future Regrets?
I love the fact that God’s word says he will restore all the wasted years (Joel 2:25). You can trust in His promise to heal past wounds and make all things new. If there is someone who can restore what was lost or broken, it is God.
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” Philippians 3:13 NIV
My brothers and sisters embrace a forward-looking mindset. Channel your energy into pursuing your goals and aspirations with renewed vigor and determination. Let past regrets be the cultivator of your wisdom and prudence in your decision-making process to avoid future regrets.
As Ecclesiastes 7:10 NIV advises, “Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is not wise to ask such questions.” With God, you will always have hope of a better tomorrow. And if you take the time to reflect on past experiences and learn from them, you’ll have more opportunities than you’ll know what to do with.
My final words to you are this: Above all, trust in God’s guidance. Seek His wisdom. Allow Him to prepare your steps. Because only He knows the plan and purpose He has for your life, and only He can lead you down paths of righteousness. God will never forsake you.